The world we live in celebrates accomplishments and achievements as the main defining factors of success. As a result, perfectionism has emerged as a strength, but one that carries a burden.
There’s no shame in pursuing greatness, but the idea of perfection is unrealistic. Understanding what perfectionism is and how it can impact your quality of life is key to being able to manage it. Here’s a more in-depth look.
What Is Perfectionism?
Perfectionism is a specific personality trait that can be characterized in the simplest of terms as striving to be perfect. It’s when we place exceptionally high standards for ourselves, whether how we perform in a job or act in day-to-day life. It also tends to be this habit of criticizing every little thing.
Types of Perfectionism
There are three types of perfectionism. The more widely known one is self-oriented perfectionism. This is where our high standards are directed to ourself. When we don’t meet a given bar for performance, we come down hard on ourselves.
Another type is socially prescribed perfectionism. This is where we expect others to hold us to a high standard and firmly believe they will judge us if we fall short.
The third type is other-oriented perfectionism. In this version, we expect others to meet the high, and often unrealistic, standards. When they don’t meet them, we pass judgment on to them.
How Perfectionism Manifests
Procrastination: You may find yourself putting off tasks, but the reasoning is that you’re afraid that you won’t be able to do them perfectly.
All or Nothing Thinking: You only see two outcomes, perfection/success or a failure.
Self-Criticism: You’re prone to feeling like a failure and excessively criticize yourself. No matter how much you achieve, it still doesn’t feel like it’s enough.
Setting Unrealistic Standards: You are a pro at setting goals, but they may be ones that automatically set you up for failure due to their loftiness.
Ways to Manage Perfectionism
Breaking the perfectionism habit can feel overwhelming, but it’s entirely possible with a few effective strategies.
Realistic Goal Setting
One of the most important things you can do is start breaking down your goals. Give yourself tasks that are more manageable and can be completed in a shorter time frame. This will not only drive motivation, but it will start to shift your focus. Rather than worry about hitting that end goal perfectly, you should start to shift your focus to making progress.
Challenge Your Thought Processes
Perfectionism can lead you down a pretty negative road where your thoughts are concerned. You view your performance as a failure. You criticize your actions more than anyone else.
Start paying attention to the conversations you’re having with yourself. When you notice yourself leaning towards negativity, try reframing these perfectionistic thoughts. Rather than view yourself as falling short, give yourself accolades for your efforts and the outcomes that did go well.
Limit Comparison
Saying not to compare yourself to others is like telling the sky not to be blue. It’s not an easy task, especially in this era of social media and always being connected.
To the best of your abilities, try to limit the amount that you compare your achievements with those around you. Your journey is yours and theirs is separate. You may not be privy to their flaws and the challenges they’re facing.
Explore Professional Help
Perfectionism can be a tough habit to break on your own. Even with the best techniques, you may find that you could benefit from some professional guidance. Through anxiety therapy sessions, we can work on the underlying cause driving your perfectionism as well as establishing more effective management tools.
If you’re ready to break free and find more joy in your daily life, I'm ready to help. Contact me today to schedule a consultation.